Self-Sufficiency

Self-sufficiency is the modern ideal for interpersonal interactions: I do not approach others because I lack or need something that they might offer, instead I approach them as an independent individual. I preserve my independence by insisting upon my completeness: my ability to function regardless of the conditions in which I find myself and of the people with whom I interact. This ideal is strengthen by a bio-social parallel: the child is dependent, the adult is not. Those who have fully matured are autonomous persons. Those who depend upon others are immature - they have yet to reach adulthood.

Charles Taylor, in his new tome A Secular Age, identifies the Maturity/Immaturity distinction as a defining mark of the contemporary scene. This guiding ideal is clearly visible in Immanuel Kant's essay "What is enlightenment?" but probably has much earlier roots. (I would place it at least back to Luther, in his insistence on the priesthood of all believers). Though these early thinkers tend to emphasize the autonomy of the individual's intellectual faculties (i.e. "Reason for yourself!"), the ideal of autonomy seems - in our day - to extend into the social sphere, so that signs of interdependence (vs. independence) are considered signs of voluntary submission, and submission a sign of weakness.

The recognition of our interdependence - "no man is an island" - is not a sign of weakness, but a recognition of our finite nature. (And, of course, there are appropriate and inappropriate ways of recognizing this fact.)